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About two weeks ago, a friend asked of me an unusual request. I was told it was a job for which I was uniquely qualified. Or at least I alone would do it free of charge. My friend asked me to investigate a woman with whom he spoke with on the LRT over the weekend. He had neglected (from shyness, I suspect) to ask her name on the LRT, so all I had to go on was her job description and the name of the company for which she worked. He thought it awkwardly stalkeresque to call the company office and ask questions about the women who worked there, but I had no such qualms. Some things are easier to do when one does not have a dog in the fight.
One of the few really useful skills I have learned in school is how to ask for information in an innocuous and inconspicuous way. It requires a criminal mind and a talent for obfuscation. I could do this. I sent an email to the information contact from the corporate website, and obtained the names of the two people whose jobs matched the job description I had been given. Since only one of them was a woman's name, my client and I felt pretty sure that we were onto the right person.
He wrote her a sweet and funny card, and waited somewhat impatiently for a response. Had there been some mistake? Did the card reach the right person? Was she already in a committed relationship? Much time was spent analyzing the probabilities of getting a response on any particular day. All probabilistic curves taper off; eventually, he gave up waiting. (I think it is generally a good idea to give up waiting right away.)
My client had mailed the card to her around Valentine's Day. As it turns out, the object of the search acts as a proxy for a group of celebrities who receive bunches of Valentine's cards, and my client's card had been tossed in the stack. Today, said client is a happy recipient of a lengthy handwritten response from said female, and is the proud possessor of one muchly prized email address. No inquiry was made as to how he obtained her contact information, though I would love to be a fly on the wall when she finally gets around to asking.
Posted by Underblog at February 28, 2005 5:33 PM
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how cute!!!! underblog plays matchmaker/detective.
Posted by: sherman at February 28, 2005 6:33 PM
What a great story! How much would it cost to have you investigate my co-worker who never seems to do his share of the work in this office? And do you look into existential matters?
Posted by: Generation Bob at March 1, 2005 10:00 AM